October 10, 2010

Wel-Com-Ing

Joy Christi Przestwor, Guest Speaker
Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville

Asheville, NC

SERMON

A dear colleague of mine, who has been a mentor to me regarding ministry noted several months back that I should — when I do give my first sermon — speak about something that I feel passionate about. And so I begin my sharing with you today with the sound of Celine Deon ringing in my ears. The words that resonate are: “I drove all night to get to you… Is that alright? ...I drove all night! I indeed did drive all night to share with each and every one of you today.

I am passionate about what this service has offered you to digest and explore. I am passionate about equality and about what strong, caring communities can empower when they work toward equality for all. I wanted this service to be filled with color…not just the color of banners, t-shirts, and candles, although I don’t want you to miss those! I wanted to be able to call your attention to the colors of life that surround you in each other. You have heard from several of our congregations’ color-filled people BUT there are many more among us! They are filled with their stories, their voices and their experiences.

Mark spoke on September 12th about his desire to provide us with an overview of our history for this coming church year. I am passionate about the history of my LGBT community. History is always a convergence of voices and today I wish to call each one of you to once again celebrate that convergence as well as its contextual nature.

Students often ask me two questions: “Joy, when will you stop learning?” and “Joy, don’t you get tired of learning?” My standard answer is that, “My entire life  has been ‘in the process’ of learning. Ironically, as I see  history, it is also always in process. Most of my brothers and sister who shared with you have been IN PROCESS in relation to all the actions we have been sharing here today…in process of welcoming, in process of coming out and certainly in process of Standing on the Side of Love.

The English teachers among you will enjoy that all the words being used for our historical context today are all gerunds — words of action that end in ING! Words that are themselves, always IN PROCESS! You may have noticed on your Order of Service that I have titled today wel-com-ing. The hyphens were no accident…they were deliberately placed. The WEL aspect comes from our congregations’ status as a welcoming congregation. The COM aspect comes from our being aware that tomorrow will be the National Coming Out celebration for all of our brothers and sisters in the LBGTQ community. The ING aspect comes from the International UU campaign of Standing on the Side of Love. Welcoming, Coming, Standing all action oriented verb forms used as nouns. All challenges to each of us to recognize our own processes involved in viewing and being aware of these actions and how they affect our lives.

All the participants who were seated among you this morning engaged you in their stories regarding these actions. I now ask you to understand some of the history behind these actions so that we may add to our maturity as a covenanted community growing in freedom, justice, and love and intensify our commitment to all of these historical events that are still “in process”.

As I drove across the highways from the South to the Midwest and back again there were silos, water towers, arches and just dangling welcome signs. Each was unique—each was individual but each was deliberately designed to let people know they were wanted and in some towns even needed to make a difference in that community. We as the Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville have the status and label of a Welcoming Congregation on all our printed materials. Every Sunday your Order of Service has it bolded on the front. It’s a label we worked hard to achieve. The question I pose to each of you this morning is exactly HOW are you welcoming? Are you truly willing to move out of your comfort zone and engage someone you don’t know very well? When new folks take the courageous step to identify themselves do you go out of your way to greet them or do you go out of your way to avoid them because you aren’t comfortable or because you have labeled yourself as introverted? According to our UU history, and all on DVDs no less, Welcoming calls us to be open and generous and willing to stretch ourselves toward others. Another question to consider…do you live up to that historical context?

Another historical stream of our daily lives was carried across the media loudly and clearly over the past three weeks. Every major TV channel ran specific evening events to talk about bullying, coming out, and compassion. Ellen DeGeneres called for us to create a specific course in all our schools titled: Compassion; Anderson Cooper talked about no longer having the luxury of being a “bystander” but each of us must be an advocate; and Oprah Winfrey in interviewing a transgendered couple noted at the end of that interview that total acceptance of their lifestyle was NOT the important element for their families but rather openly loving them as they are.

The national media focused on the lives of young gay and lesbian people because of so many suicides. Openly gay and lesbian youth or those "suspected" of being so can expect harassment and abuse in junior high and high schools. The National Gay Task Force, in a nationwide survey, found that 45 percent of gay males and nearly 20 percent of lesbians had experienced verbal or physical assault in secondary schools. The shame of ridicule and fear of attack makes school a fearful place to go resulting in frequent absences and sometimes academic failure.

I put our community candle here today to remember each one of the young people who committed suicide over the last three week span and light our candle in their memory.

Perhaps you have never been aware of all the ramifications associated with coming out. My coming out was a gradual awakening and it certainly was not a simple process but as I’ve already noted I am “in process” day-in and day out. The National Coming Out celebration symbol is on the front of your order of service. It is a door opening and a person obviously moving actively through that door. The symbol if you could see it in color is in very bright and hot colors--once again to draw attention to it being an action.

National Coming Out Day is celebrated across this country on October 11 and has been celebrated since 1988 as a way of marking the 1987 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay rights. Each year has a specific theme and this 2010 year is labeled Coming Out for Equality. The purpose for having such a day according to the historical records is “to let people see us, who we are, people they already like, know and respect—who happen to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered.” In keeping with my challenge for us to recognize our own processes connected to Coming Out…how have you or do you support people who speak their truth? Coming Out can be viewed in many ways and often I have felt we need to celebrate not just the LGBT community walking through doors but all disenfranchised peoples walking through their own doors of freedom.

Finally we are considering today an international aspect to our history stream…a campaign that began as a statement of support for the LGBT community but has expanded into an international campaign for social activism for anyone and everyone who has been placed on the fringes of our societal labeling.

Each participant today has worn a t-shirt to call your attention to this Unitarian Universalist program.

Our Association has become known throughout the United States and in the International Community for our social actions related to Standing on the Side of Love. I strongly suggest that if you are unfamiliar with this highly valued and internationally accepted program that you go home this afternoon and type into Google, Standing on the Side of Love and learn what is happening day-in and day-out. This is a powerful witness and equally engaging “in-process” movement.

I am so thrilled to be able to be here and note that this community has deliberately chosen to be welcoming, to deliberately allow everyone to come out and stand shoulder to shoulder with each other in love. I have been a member of many church communities, many educational communities, and many religious communities. In all those contexts I grew. I grew because I chose to be actively engaged and challenged, because I chose to be “in process” with my fellow travelers. I have always seen the connections between history, passion, and what I call the magic of love.

I drove all night because I am passionate about being able to allow every person regardless of the labels we can affix to them to be loved, respected, and acknowledged. I am able to stand in front of you today as a strong lesbian ministerial woman. I can do this because of my personal commitment to this community, because of our shared historical convergence, because you have supported and acknowledged me.

I have a confession to make, I left out many aspects of this historical set of streams. Once again, being the deliberate gal I am, I chose to leave them out so that you might investigate them further on your own. Go to Malaprops, peruse the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered area. Find the Gay History in America book and read it! Go to the Internet and discover what the original gay pride flag looked like—what each of the colors stand for and how the flag has also been in process.  Go to the Internet and Google Interweave as well as Standing On the Side of Love, our Unitarian Universalist areas for gay pride and sharing.  Learn about the communities within our community! Challenge yourself to grow again and again in freedom, justice, and above all, love.

My partner Carla used to remind me often that there is magic in every day living, especially when it comes to loving and being loved.  So this day I challenge each of you to create a brand new world. A world in which driving all night to share is always a reality.  A world where Unitarian Universalists are known as a covenantal community that is always in the process of welcoming, where everyone is allowed to open each and every door they desire—coming out or going in, and where each and every one of the members of that community are always standing , arm interlocked with arm, on the side of love.

May it be so!